Broken Trust,Shattered Dreams...

This is a little sneak peak to my horrible poem....

What happened to those long nights? 

When we talked and fought.

When we cried and sighed.

Our silent laughter

And our dripping tears.

Together overcoming all our fears.

What happened to those promises?

Of companionship,

Of friendship? 

Love ought to never be so fragile,

But knowingly I refused 

How could I be so senile? 

Lost...

Sometimes I really have no idea what I am doing with my life. They used to say, major in an area where you are passionate and enjoy learning about. But now everything is based on the future. Now we have to leave our passions behind, leave our dreams behind and major in an area where we will find a good job with a good salary. I want to major in teaching, but at the same time I am interested in journalism and graphic designing. And I LOVE expressing my feelings and emotions through poems. Coding each and every single word so that I can only understand the TRUE meaning behind what I truly want to say. As a matter of fact not only do I enjoy writing poems but I really wish to write a book one day, dedicated to my mother. A woman whom I believe the entire world has the right to know and learn about. But these are just the side dish to to main course. And that is what I am confused about, the MAIN course. In a meal the main course is what a person always looks forward to and it defines the entire meal. the question is what do I MAINLY want to do? What do I want to do with my life? What do I want to pursue in?
Only God knows... and I hope Inshallah (God willing) he will show me where I really belong...  

What Introverts Feel?

In my opinion I believe there are very few extroverts compared to introverts. I myself am an introvert, that has taught herself to smile no matter how bad the situation. I try to make serious situations humorous, sad situations happy, basically I try to find the positive side of all situations.

Why? 

For myself... So at the moment everyone else thinks I CAN handle a situation. But inside? Inside I shatter just a little bit more, weaken a bit more... die a bit more. Introverts are the most alone people alive. When we cry, no one sees our tears. When we scream, no one hears. When we are alone, we are rejected. Slowly, slowly we allow life to steal our little bits of happiness. We forget about that one of few people that, DO care for us. We forget that there may be a tomorrow and maybe just maybe tomorrow happiness can just maybe walk into our lives. Maybe just maybe we can learn how to live again. 

Maybe... Just Maybe. 

What Happened?

Well, this is my first blog post on this blog. I've had three other blogs:

http://ilmknowledgegod.blogspot.com/
http://fpoems.blogspot.com/
http://fnvideos.blogspot.com/

I stopped posting on all three for different reasons. I stopped posting on my Islamic blog because I couldn't think of extraordinary ideas to put up.
On my poems blog I stopped because, I really had nothing else to write about. More like I didn't know how to express my feelings through rhythm anymore. My mind stopped processing things "creatively."
And as for my videos, well I stopped making videos because my computer  crashed and my laptop doesn't have the older version of Windows Movie Maker, I rather enjoy using Sony Vegas.

Anyways that's a boring introduction to my blog life.